Two Years and Counting

Random Tidbits
September 17, 2009, 9:29 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Things are rolling along. I haven’t had anymore issues with too many contractions, and the bad pain hasn’t come back. Kate is kicking like a soccer player though, which is funny to me. Except at night when she starts moving and sometimes hits a certain spot low on my left side that hurts pretty bad. But it’s not excruciating. I’d rather her be kicking than not, of course.

I had our first baby shower last weekend, and it felt so special. My girlfriends really went all out for it. Most special of all, several of them made comments about how excited they were for us, especially since we all prayed for this baby for so long. The girls who gave it are the ones in my community group at church, and they all knew about our struggles to get pregnant. Once of the best parts of getting pregnant was telling them–they were all so much more excited than even I thought they’d be. It’s really sweet. We got a lot of precious little outfits and some practical things–a few packs of diapers, some lotions, our high chair and exersaucer. Fun stuff.

We’re actually headed to Mobile this weekend for another shower given by my mom’s girlfriends. It’ll be for my side of the family and some family friends. I’m slightly nervous about the trip down since the last time we went down, we ended up in L&D. I’m praying it doesn’t happen this time!

On Monday of this week I had another regular OB appt. My mom got to go with me since she was here for the shower. I saw another doctor–they make sure you meet all the doctors in the practice in case it’s someone else who delivers your baby. I told my mom beforehand that I wouldn’t be shocked if they say “She looks a bit small, let’s do an ultrasound.” Which is exactly what happened! Dr F. said it may be that we’re just small people (I’m very petite as I’ve said before, and my lanky mom was sitting there too) and that I may just have a small baby, but just to make sure (and since after feeling my belly, it felt like I may be measuring a bit “short”) she ordered an u/s. It was fine with me, and I wasn’t overly concerned since Dr F didn’t appear to be too concerned. She said if the tech says the baby is measuring in less than the 10th percentile, we’d need to come back to see her after the u/s, but anything above that would be fine. We had the u/s and everything looked great. She measured the abdomen and femur and a few other things, and the average percentile was 38%, which we were pretty happy with. The only thing the tech couldn’t get a good measurement on was her head, which was down very low, keeping her from being able to see it fully. It happened last time we had an u/s too. Because everything else is measuring well, she said she wasn’t concerned about the head measurement, and that she’d just put a note on the photos for Dr F saying she couldn’t get a good look at the head. I fully expect I’ll be sent back for another u/s at my next appt, so we’ll check the head again then.

Oh, we also didn’t get a clear look at her face because both her hands and feet were up in front of her face! She’s quite flexible.

I’m starting to have these flashes of panic every so often–I’m about to go through child birth and then I’ll be a mom and be expected to know how to do everything! The flashes only last a second, but in those flashes, there’s some real fear! I’m so excited about everything, but it’s scary too. I’m nervous about what childbirth will be like (I’m planning on an epidural, no natural childbirth for me)–whether I’ll be able to have a vagi.nal birth or if I’ll need a c-section, if I do need a c-section, what the recovery will be like, whether this heparin I’m taking will pose any kind of problem (which would come in the form of not being able to have the epidural as soon as I want it), and whether I’ll feel confident in my mothering abilities after having Kate or if I’ll be scared and fearful. I’m praying for confidence and strength, knowing that will come from God and not from me! I’m also praying for the ability to roll with the punches–I tend to like all my ducks in a row, like to feel in control of things, like to have things planned out, and I know that having a baby will just continue to disrupt my little ducks! I’m already learning big lessons on letting go of my need for order and control now while I’m pregnant, and I pray that I’ll be able to be at peace and accepting of all the changes that are to come. (Mind you, I know these are GOOD changes and I’m very excited about them, but for someone who likes order and plans, it is a disruption that requires getting used to.)

Our infertility struggle started the ball rolling for me in understanding once and for all that everything is out of my control–when I got pregnant, how this pregnancy will proceed, how Kate will be after I have her, etc. Control has been taken from me (or was never really mine in the first place!) and it’ll be out of my hands from here on out! But, there’s peace in that too. I believe God is in control of my life and of Kate’s, and I should rest in that.


2 Comments so far
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Glad that you and Kate are doing well!

Comment by andreajennine

Glad to hear that things are trucking along for you. Aren’t the baby showers fun? =)

Try not to worry too much about child birth or parenting right now, I KNOW it’s easier said than done, but those are things that you will have to tackle one day at a time when they come. Honestly, you will have days as a parent when you feel on top of the world and days when you feel like you have NO clue what you are doing…heck, it will change moment to moment too.

And labor is the same way. You will have moments of excitment and empowerment mixed with moments of “I can’t do this” (but you can, and you will).

Sending ((hugs))

Comment by MrsLaLa

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