Two Years and Counting

May 7, 2008, 9:03 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Thank you to everyone who answered my question about the herbs + acupuncture. I really appreciate the view points and tips. Strangely enough, I decided, after taking the first 5 pills, that herbs are not for me. It’s not that they did anything bad to me–it’s that I had a little stress-fest that evening and decided I didn’t want to add another routine to my already cluttered plan to get pg. If these next couple/few months are to be our “break” from anxiety-inducing doctor visits, blood draws, and procedures, adding 8-10 pills a day is not what I want to do. I immediately felt better after making that decision…and after blubbering to Matt about my feelings of being totally out of control and having no idea what steps to take.

Since then, and even for the last couple of months, I’ve really felt that God is impressing on me that I just have to pry my fingers off this whole process. I’m praying (and longing) for a deep rest that comes with totally trusting that God is in control of all this. He knows my age, he knows the timeline I have in my own mind, he knows my desires, and he knows my heart. He’s not ignoring all these things, but he knows so much more clearly exactly what I, and what we, need. I do believe that rest will come to me when I can grasp this truth and get through the entire month (the anticipation of the first two weeks, the guess work of ovulation, and the unknown in the second half of the cycle) without letting go of that truth. So that’s where I am. I feel like I’m tasting that rest, that God is pointing me to words and people who are radiating this rest and trust, and it’s helpful to me.


5 Comments so far
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I was reading in John 20 this morning and was struck by how every time the resurrected Christ appeared to the disciples, he said, “Peace be with you.” He really wants us to have his peace, to the extent that he died to secure it for us! So I’m confident that he will give you rest even in the midst of infertility.

Comment by andrea_jennine

It’s incredibly how having so much medication to take just sometimes adds to our stress level isn’t it. That’s one of the reasons I weaned myself off my 3 metformin tablets nightly. Let go and let God. I’m learning that lesson slowly. Its so hard because I’m a planner & a (mini) contrl freak so its a struggle accepting the fact that this is one race that I cannot run hard enough or fast enough to win. it’s all in God’s hand. Hang in there girl. He will never leave us or forsake us.

Comment by Grace

I did acupuncture without herbs while doing IVF, with good results. And acupuncture was an excellent way to find inner calmness. I agree that if you are trying to take a break, adding several new factors might be counterproductive. Good luck!

Comment by Ellen K.

Good luck on Monday – I hope Dr. H will tell you something that you want to hear. I’ll be thinking about you.

Comment by Steph

I’m glad that you have come to a decision that you are comfortable with. It really sounds like both your head and your heart are in the right place.

Comment by sarah23

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