Two Years and Counting


CD2
March 25, 2008, 2:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Just a quick update. IUI #3 officially didn’t work, so we’re looking ahead. My plan is to call the acupuncturist this week (as soon as I can get up the nerve) to make my first appointment. I’d like to have a few sessions before our next IUI. If the 4th IUI doesn’t work, I’m not sure what our next step will be. I’d sort of like to sit on the sidelines for just a little bit and take a break. Two or three months of not living in two-week increments sounds wonderful to me. But we’ll see. M and I haven’t really talked about that part yet—it’s just what’s in my mind.

I’m hopeful about seeing the acupuncturist. I feel like she may be able to do some good for me. I’m a little nervous about the diet changes she may suggest, as I feel it may be a little (or a lot) expensive. But I’ll take it one step at a time.

In the midst of my up-and-down hopefulness, I’m aware of the fact that I will not be having a child in 2008. I will be pushing 30 if I happen to get pregnant in the next few months, but it’s more likely that I’ll be at least 30 when my first child comes. (My apologies to those of you who have already reached and/or passed the milestone of 30. I’m not trying to stick my thumb on any bruises at all. This is just where I am in my life.)

This is not what I imagined starting a family would look like for us, but I have to remember that this is not God’s Plan B for us—it’s his Plan A. This is where we’re supposed to be, even if I don’t understand it and would prefer it to be another way.

Lately, I’ve been made more aware about how things look with the benefit of hindsight. Things that have happened in my life that I just didn’t understand at all at the time, things that I thought were just the worst possible thing, all tend to look much better with the perspective of several years. Boyfriends I broke up with, boyfriends who broke up with me, jobs I didn’t get, friendships that faded over time…looking back on them, I can say without a doubt that God’s hand was there and he worked things out perfectly, even if it hurt at the time. If things had gone exactly how I wanted them to instead of how God planned for them to be, my life would be very different now…and not in a good way. So I’m thankful for God’s sovereignty and am looking to him to make this present situation shine with perfection so that one day, when I look back on this time in my life, I’ll be able to see God’s hand in it and see how wonderfully he planned everything.

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5 Comments so far
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You have a wonderful outlook on this. You are really an inspiration. I love your comment about this being God’s Plan A not plan B. That really puts things in perspective.

Comment by Steph

Isn’t it so helpful to look back on God’s past faithfulness? And even when our circumstances seem out of control and his faithfulness is hard to see in the immediate past, we can always look back to the cross to see the ultimate proof that he has always been faithful to us.

Comment by andrea_jennine

Oh, I’m so sorry the IUI didn’t work. I definitely agree with you on the Plan A thing. I feel the same way. I pray the acupuncture provides some help!

Comment by glenna

Hi, I have never commented here before. I had my first IUI on March 8th that did not work. I will be having my second IUI around April 7th or 8th. My first IUI I was on clomid but this time I am doing it without the clomid. I hope that your next IUI is successful!

Comment by Angela

Thanks Angela!

Comment by Lauren




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